Never Odd or Even Read online

Can you see what I’ve done? They’ll find my real message hidden inside the letter by taking only the lines with odd numbers and joining them together.

  Clever, don’t you think? As I said, Never Even But Odd. I bet Sherlock Holmes would be mega impressed.

  BLOG UPDATE FOR

  TODAY ONLY

  Ground-breaking news!

  Victor Criddle obviously pleaded ‘not guilty’. Despite madly protesting his innocence, he’s just been found guilty of the burglary in court. Yay!

  He’ll be sent away to a kind of juvenile institution and both Mum and I have been so much happier since hearing the news. She just smiled for the first time in ages. At last.

  If you ask me, I think Victor Criddle deserves what happened, after getting away with so much for so long. I just call it revenge. He always called me ODD – now we’re EVEN!

  As for the stolen money – it all went to charity. A children’s charity, actually – for young victims of bullying, abuse and despair.

  Does that make my secret and what I did right? What do you think? What would you have done in my shoes? (Which is a daft saying because my shoes probably wouldn’t fit you, as I take an extra-wide fitting).

  I think I know the question you still want answered. Why didn’t the police find the stolen money in my bag on the afternoon of the crime, when everyone was searched?

  Simple – I hid it. Where? The safest place of all ... in school, under their noses. In fact, under the custard creams inside Mrs. Eve’s Chamber of Secrets. No one would dare to look inside the librarian’s sacred biscuit tin or suspect its ANOINTED GUARDIAN . A cunning plan, don’t you think?

  If anyone ever asks if you know who the real thief was, DON’T NOD. In fact, don’t say a word. It’s our secret. I wrote it all down in a temporary blog because I was so proud of myself for once ... but now I’m going to delete the lot, so that all evidence will disappear forever.

  All my words will be ERADICATED ON or to use the perfect anagram: NO IDEA TRACED . I can even sum it up with four more: A DARE NOTICED ... REDO NICE DATA ... REACTION DEAD … ACE TIN ADORED .

  Just right. Spot on. Job done.

  BTW: The last puzzle I leave with you is this: who was the victim and who was the victor in all of this? So much for Victor getting the better of Eliot. Just who’s the real Victor now?

  BTW: I bet you can’t guess why I chose the picture above to use to separate parts of the story. Any idea?

  It’s an anagram, of course.

  ELIOT’S SECRET = LET’S STORE ICE.

  Magic!

  GLOSSARY

  alliteration

  the repetition of a particular sound in the first syllables of a series of words or phrases – as in ‘dangerous dragon’s den’.

  anagram

  rearranging the letters of a word or phrase to make another word or phrase. So for example EVIL is an anagram of VILE .

  biometrics

  refers to the identification of humans by their (biological) characteristics, such as a fingerprint or retina scan. It’s often used as a way of controlling access to places.

  enigma

  a person, a thing or an event that is puzzling or hard to explain.

  figurative language

  using words to describe something in a way that goes beyond their ordinary meaning. It can include, but isn’t limited to, hyperbole, similes and metaphors.

  hyperbole

  exaggerating something to make a point (for example ‘I’m so tired I could sleep for a year’).

  irony

  saying something when it is obvious that you mean the opposite – for example ‘Oh great! My watch has broken’.

  metaphor

  comparing two different things that are not alike, but which nevertheless have something in common. For example, ‘Life is a rollercoaster’.

  palindrome

  a word or phrase that reads the same in either direction. For example, NEVER ODD OR EVEN.

  paraskevidekatriaphobia

  a fear of the day/date Friday 13th.

  prime number

  a whole number greater than 1 that can only be divided by 1 and itself (giving a whole-number answer). Thirteen is an example of prime number

  – as it can only be divided by itself and 1.

  rhetorical question

  a figure of speech where a question is asked, but the person is asking the question to make a point, without expecting an answer. For example ‘Are you crazy?’.

  simile

  a figure of speech comparing two different things, using a word such as ‘like’ or ‘as’. For example: ‘He is sleeping like a log’.

  SOME BRITISH WORDS FOR MY AMERICAN FRIENDS

  Page 8 – Countdown – This is a neat game show that involves words and numbers (my two favorite things). You don’t have this one. We borrowed it from the French a long time ago and it has been on TV here for over 20 years.

  Page 9 – Form teacher – this is a school teacher who looks after a class all year, takes attendance and sorts problems.

  Page 20 – £2 Coins – coins worth about $2.77 each in your money. You might see £20 note or other amounts, other places. You can just Google Pounds to US dollars for fun and see what it says.

  Page 21 – poppet – an affectionate term for a child.

  Page 27 – secondary school – what you guys sometimes call elementary school (which is pretty cool).

  Page 27 – Child Catcher – Did you see the movie ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’?

  Page 28 – saddle – in this case, what you call the seat on a bike.

  Page 29 – Celebrations – it’s a variety bag of Mars candy bars; the little mini ones.

  Page 30 (and others) – year 11 – in your part of the world that’s 15-16 years old. If you see year 9, that’s 13-14 years old, and I am 12 which is year 7.

  Page 31 – Jammy Dodgers – simply too amazing to describe here. Closest you can come to them are shortbread cookies with jam in the middle.

  Page 32 – pants – British slang. Not good; total crap; nonsense; rubbish; bad.

  Page 53 – WPC – Woman police constable, which you call police officer.

  Page 61 – fete – it means a celebration, over here it is usually an outdoor charity event.

  Page 77 – Ribena – is my country’s original brand of blackcurrant-based uncarbonated and carbonated soft drinks.

  Page 78 – Sellotape – you call it Scotch tape.

  That’s about all I have. If you find some others, you can add them in the space below or write them down or put them in the notes app on your phone and share with friends.

  A library is like a giant freezer; chock-full of delicious ideas just waiting to be thawed, fused and consumed.

  Each book is a frozen feast, ready to be opened and melted in the mind. Sometimes a single sentence, like a cube of ice, slides off the page… trickling truth or seeping some chilling secret.

  Mrs. Eve, school librarian

  JOHN TOWNSEND

  John Townsend was born in Chelmsford, Essex, and discovered his enchantment with books at an early age. As a child, he wrote mini-dramas, silly poems and stories to tell the cat. Whether or not the cat wanted to hear them is another matter!

  His love of hiking and the outdoors led him to become a geography teacher in Gloucestershire, writing pantomimes and plays for the annual drama productions. His first publication was inspired by his rusty old Morris Minor and, 200 books later, he is now a full-time writer. www.johntownsend.co.uk

  Credits

  This book is a work of art re-produced by Incorgnito Publishing Press with the cooperation of

  Ransom Publishing UK and the author, John Townsend

  Star Foos ~ Artist/Designer

  Daria Lacy ~ Graphic Production

  Janice Bini ~ Chief Reader

  Michael Conant ~ Publisher

  January 2018

  Incorgnito Publishing Press


  Direct inquiries to [email protected]