Never Odd or Even Page 3

  No one understood how miserable I was until three things helped to cheer me up.

  1) Friday 12th of June arrived (my favourite date) and it was a super scorching sunny summer day. (WRM – that’s alliteration to change the mood and make things brighter.)

  2) It was the day before the school fete and I was in charge of selling raffle tickets to Year 7. Mr. Adam said I had to be a genius because I could remember which ticket numbers each person bought. It’s just a memory trick I’ve got, as numbers are my thing.

  3) The following week was Year 9 camp, so Victor Criddle would be away for a whole week and I would be free of his bullying. Unfortunately, Mr. Adam was also going on the camp (which is quite amazing as he’s really old – at 44 – to be sleeping outside).

  I don’t like it when he’s not at school and someone else takes our class. I like things to stay the same always and I get a bit stressy when stuff or people get changed.

  Even though my whole life was pants, that Friday the 12th was the start of something better.

  The bus journey to school wasn’t good because Shahdan Criddle was hyper, as he was going off to camp the next day. He and another boy had a bit of a fight on the back seat and Shahdan ended up pushing a tissue up his nose to stop a nosebleed.

  As I hadn’t had any breakfast, I took from my bag a nice red shiny apple to munch. But before I could take a bite, Shahdan whipped it from my hand and sunk his teeth into it. He cackled and scoffed the lot. Then, as always, he rummaged through my bag and took a Mars Bar.

  There was lots going on that day and Mrs. Harris looked in a bit of a fluster when I went to her office at morning break. Her desk was piled with money bags and bundles of twenty pound notes.

  ‘Hello Eliot,’ she squeaked. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve got more money for me! I’ve got so much here, what with the raffle money, camp payments and everything else, I could run away and go on a world cruise.’

  She gave one of her silly giggles. ‘But wouldn’t that be stealing, Mrs.

  Harris?’ I said.

  ‘Yes, Eliot, it most certainly would. It was a joke, poppet. Now, how much money do you need to hand in?’

  I told her I had sold two hundred and forty raffle tickets, so I had £120 to hand in – but she didn’t need to count the money as I had already checked it.

  ‘It’s just as well you’re such an honest and reliable boy, Eliot,’ she said. ‘I wish more people were like you.’

  ‘There’s something special I must show you,’ I told her.

  I was really excited about a particular twenty pound note because I always look at the serial numbers on banknotes, as they can be quite interesting. It’s very rare to see a palindromic number on a twenty pound note, so I was delighted to see this one: EE33 876678.

  I told Mrs. Harris that this was a particularly fascinating number for all sorts of reasons. One of them was the sum total of all the digits, which is one of those numbers I really love (for a start, it’s the smallest number with 10 factors, which I find big-time mega awesome).

  Anyway, I’d already explained this to Mr. Adam and Mrs. Eve and shown them the twenty pound note. Miss Milligan in the next office said she ought to keep it, because it was only one number different from her phone number. I told her that was truly cosmic and I was ecstatic.

  She just said, ‘That’s nice dear,’ and smiled weirdly.

  I left Mrs. Harris surrounded by all that money and I went to the library, as I had an important job to do. I remember the time then was 10.56, so there were fourteen minutes of break-time left. This was information that would later be of use in constructing a timeline of events.

  I went back to see Mrs. Harris at lunchtime to ask her how much money the raffle had collected so far, but I heard her before I got to the door. It wasn’t her silly giggle this time but it sounded like she was crying.

  Miss Milligan saw me at the door and said, ‘Not now, Eliot. We’re sorting out a problem.’

  ‘Can I help?’ I said, looking into the office, where I could see the safe was open.

  ‘Thank you, Eliot, but this is a matter for the police. There’s been a burglary in here, I’m afraid.’

  I took out my phone. ‘In that case, you can use my camera if you like. You ought to take a photo of the crime scene and you must make sure you don’t touch or move anything. Shall I take a picture for you?’

  She didn’t say anything because she went to give Mrs. Harris another tissue – so I just pointed my camera and clicked.

  They were too concerned about whatever had happened to bother with me, so I went to the library to upload my crime-scene image on the computer. I could soon see all sorts of interesting clues, so I was ready if the police wanted my advice. Sherlock Holmes would have solved this in minutes.

  Instead of form-time at the end of the afternoon, the whole school had to go into the sports hall for a special assembly. A man in a stripy suit and a yellow tie stood at the front, with two policemen just behind him.

  ‘Some of you may have heard,’ he began, ‘that a burglary has occurred on these school premises. A substantial amount of money has been stolen and this is a very serious matter. I am in charge of the investigation and I need your help. The thief or thieves, whoever he, she or they happen to be, struck in broad daylight, so there are bound to be witnesses amongst you in here. Indeed, the culprit may also be sitting in front of me right now.

  ‘We are already pursuing various lines of enquiry and it will only be a matter of time before we shall be making an arrest. We are asking for your cooperation, particularly as it is your money, stolen from your school.

  We shall be searching all bags as a routine procedure as you leave school this afternoon.

  ‘I want you all to reflect over this weekend and ask yourself two questions. First, have you seen anything or anyone suspicious today? Anything at all.

  ‘Second, if you happen to hear or know any information about this crime – or indeed, if you were part of it – I would like to hear from you. If anyone’s conscience is telling them to speak to one of our officers in confidence, I would urge you to tell us as soon as possible.’

  Everyone was talking about the burglary on the bus home. Thankfully, as Year 9 were going off to camp early next morning, a certain person was in an unusually good mood and giving everyone sweets.

  Someone asked him how much money he was taking to camp and he shouted for all to hear, ‘Millions ‘cos I’m loaded.’ He took a twenty pound note from inside his sock and waved it in the air.

  I sat quietly and tidied my bag, as the police had gone through it and left it in a mess. Then I sat back and looked out of the bus window all the way home. It gave me important time to think and plan my letter. I was going to write to the police to tell them about all the clues I had seen and other likely evidence. But most of all, I had to tell them the name they needed to know.

  This is a copy of the letter I later printed and sent to the police. It took me ages to write because of all the long words (to make it the sort of letter Sherlock Holmes would send).

  Dear Criminal Investigation Department,

  This is an anonymous letter because if the person I am about to name ever discovers I have written it, I will be at serious risk of major violence.

  I have examined the evidence relating to the theft of thousands of pounds in cash from the safe in Castle Priory School’s finance office. There can be no doubt that the criminal you must arrest is a Year 9 boy by the name of Victor Criddle. The evidence from the crime scene is as follows.

  Fingerprints. Victor Criddle’s fingerprints are likely to be on items on the office desk, but also inside the safe itself. Try looking on some of the empty plastic money bags he left behind.

  DNA. Victor Criddle’s blood is probably on a discarded tissue in the corner of the office. If so, this would place him at the crime scene on the day of the theft.

  DNA and/or dental impression. If you examine the apple core u
nder the desk at the crime scene, you may obtain the criminal’s DNA from traces of saliva, as well as teeth marks that will probably match the dental records of Victor Criddle.

  A faint purple shoeprint on a carpet tile just inside the office door is likely to match exactly the pattern on Victor Criddle’s shoe. As you know, all shoeprints are unique.

  There will also be two other pieces of incriminating evidence:

  The crime, as you have probably already calculated, must have taken place between 11.10 and 11.35, while the finance office was left unattended. If you examine CCTV images between those times from the camera at the reception area, you will see that Victor Criddle was out of his lesson and in close proximity to the crime scene at the exact time of the crime. This must make him a prime suspect.

  I would advise you to examine Victor Criddle’s bedroom at 24 Rutland Drive, where you are bound to find indisputable evidence linking him to the crime. Your searches at school did not find the stolen money in his bag because he hid it inside his clothes.

  I trust this gives you enough information to make a speedy arrest and to lock away Victor Criddle for a very long time.

  Yours faithfully,

  An Amateur Detective (similar to Sherlock Holmes)

  THURSDAY

  News of the burglary was in all the papers. It was reported as the worst crime ever to hit our school, with over two hundred twenty pound notes being stolen. Everyone at school was talking about it.

  The following Monday evening I saw two police cars outside Victor Criddle’s house at number 24. Within a few hours he had been arrested. A police car apparently collected him from the campsite and took him off for questioning.

  They say the police found some of the stolen money and the key to the school safe in Victor Criddle’s bedroom. By the end of the week he was charged with theft and everyone was saying that he’ll be sent away.

  YES!!!

  Since hearing that news my life has never been better.

  So what do you think of my Sherlock Holmes skills? You may think the police didn’t need my help at all. Even so, you have to admit that the result was just what I wanted. It was perfect, especially as (now brace yourself for a bit of a surprise) Victor Criddle was totally innocent, for once.

  Honestly – he didn’t do it. Only I know who did.

  Can you work out who really committed the crime?

  Before I tell you, you ought to stop reading on and think about the evidence

  for a while. Try a bit of detective work of your own. Who do you think the thief was?

  One of the people I’ve already told you about was the real burglar, but only I know who it was.

  The answer to who stole all the money is hidden in this blog. Their name is in my NUMBERS CRUNCH LAW 2. So go back and take a look. It’s on page 33.

  Look at the first capital letter of each sentence in LAW 2 and see what they spell backwards. It’s the name of the burglar.

  Are you shocked?

  Just in case you need a second clue, see if you can make a four–word sentence from HE TIME FAITH . Or if you prefer it in just three words AIM WEST.

  Hannah sent me a text: Up locked him get to Shahdan frame as well as crime the commit to you of clever was it.

  She’s started sending texts backwards. Even so, I’ve deleted it, as well as her final anagram: MEET RICH PREFECT .

  Maybe I need to explain a bit more, in case you are still a bit puzzled. The last part of my blog will make it all clear ... before I wipe everything clean forever.

  I’d planned it for ages. The day was perfect. I sent Mrs. Gibson (my Math teacher) an email from Mrs. Eve’s computer at morning break: ‘Please can Eliot come to the library for 5 minutes straight away? Thanks.’

  I was let out of the classroom at 11.14 and I went straight to the library to collect a carrier bag I’d hidden behind the shelf marked CRIME. I took it to the finance office, making sure I avoided all CCTV cameras on the way.

  Mrs. Harris had just left her office for the usual finance meeting, so I quickly nipped in, took the safe key from the purse in her handbag, opened the safe and stuffed all the banknotes from inside into my carrier bag, after removing my items in it.

  I carefully left those bits of evidence at the scene, apart from a bottle of Ribena, from which I poured a trickle onto the floor

  outside the door. I did all this in 29.4 seconds and I quickly left, passing Victor Criddle in the corridor.

  I’d also sent an email from Mrs. Eve’s computer to his teacher, asking for him to go to the finance office for an urgent message and to come through the main entrance. (All emails I’ve since deleted.)

  Criddle evidently walked into the finance office just as I planned, treading the Ribena into the carpet tiles and leaving his shoeprint. PERFECT .

  There were a few items in my school bag that Victor Criddle had rummaged through on the bus that morning, in his usual search for money or food. His fingerprints were all over them, but mine weren’t. So, using rubber gloves, I’d placed the roll of Sellotape from my bag onto Mrs. Harris’s desk, as well as a Pritt Stick (with a perfect thumbprint on it). A plastic money bag he’d taken a pound from also had his fingerprints all over it, so I put that inside the safe.

  When he’d got off the bus that morning, Victor Criddle had thrown two things at me. One was the tissue he’d used for his nosebleed and the other was the core of my apple he’d just eaten. I’d kept them both, then simply dropped one in the corner of the office and the other under the desk.

  My real stroke of genius was planting evidence in his bedroom. It was Hannah who gave me the idea. It wasn’t anything she said: just her name. What do you get from an anagram of HANNAH WIDDOWS ?

  On Saturday night at two in the morning, I crept out of bed, got dressed and sneaked downstairs. Mum was fast asleep, having taken her usual tablets.

  I took from the ice compartment in the fridge a special ice cube (bigger than average) that I’d made before bedtime. It had a rolled- up twenty pound note frozen inside. It was the twenty pound note with the serial number EE33 876678 that I’d deliberately shown to many people. They all knew it was one of the banknotes that had been locked inside the safe.

  With that ice cube beginning to melt in my gloved hand, I walked out into the night and went to number 24 Rutland Drive – the dreaded Criddle house. Everything was very quiet and, just as I expected on such a warm night, all the upstairs windows were open. I gently pushed open the front gate and crept up the path to stand beneath Shahdan’s empty bedroom.

  While he was sleeping in a tent at camp, somewhere beneath the stars, I was taking careful aim at his open window. The ice cube flew through the air and disappeared into his room with the faintest plonk. A dog howled somewhere at the back of the house, so I quickly hurled a second missile: the key from the school safe. It landed inside without a sound and I ran.

  By the time the police would search his room, the ice would have melted and evaporated, leaving the incriminating banknote near the stolen key somewhere in the suspect’s bedroom. PERFECT .

  I turned to look back at the bedroom window. All was still and the dog was silent again. I smiled as I headed for home, with that unquestionable evidence waiting to be discovered inside the SHAHDAN WINDOW (the answer to the last anagram, if you hadn’t worked it out).

  When I got home, I went into our back garden, took a box of matches and some scrunched-up newspaper from the shed and lit a fire on the path.

  I removed the rubber gloves from my hands (the same gloves I’d used at the crime scene at school to ensure none of my fingerprints were anywhere to be found) and I threw them into the flame from the flaring newspaper. The gloves melted, bubbled, sizzled and dribbled before being engulfed in purple flames. Soon they were gone – nothing left. Just the perfect anagram:

  ELIOT’S NUMBERS CRUNCH LAWS

  which equals

  STOLEN CASH WRM I BURN CLUES .

  BTW, I wrote a letter
to Victor (care of the police). The numbers down the side are important but he’s not clever enough to work it out. He’ll just think someone is trying to be helpful. (I didn’t sign it, but he may guess it’s me.)

  All letters sent to suspects must get checked by officers who are trained in deciphering puzzles. That’s a job I’d like one day. So here’s the letter I sent to Victor – although it’s really meant for the police to use in court. Then the judge will understand just what Victor is really like.

  LETTER OF SUPPORT

  Victor Criddle doesn’t bother kids much as he’s usually too busy

  making them laugh with his funny jokes. In fact, he’s never really

  bullying me or causing me real grief, and he thinks nothing of

  being friendly to everyone. People respect his family, who never like

  upsetting the neighbours or making big trouble. He goes on the streets

  trying to stop other kids from getting into serious crime, such as

  stealing, vandalising, joy-riding or getting into violent fights.

  I was horrified when Victor was arrested, which must be a mistake.

  Victor Criddle needs quick justice as I believe he should always be kept

  on the ‘Innocent’ list. I will put up ‘Free Victor’ posters in shops, pubs and

  behind bars. In fact, I would go as far as to plead with you that Victor is

  released immediately and given a full pardon. I hope my proposal will be

  seriously dealt with as soon as possible.

  Thank you for reading this so carefully.

  Yours faithfully,

  Never Even But Odd